The Quiet City

I'm back.

2007-04-11T04:16:29Z

So, a lot has changed since the last time I've posted here. I stopped attending the Art Institute in August. I was denied for more loans. The reality of my financial situation sank in and I realized school wasn't the best option for me. Though I loved the school, center city and everyone I met. I could explain further, but I wont.

Now, I'm working as an Equity Closer in NJ, making far more that I've ever made before. In fact, I plan to purchase my first home in August in NJ, if all goes as planned. I'm happy to have health insurance again too. I miss the life I read about in my old LJ entries, but I guess its the same as a college graduate looking back on their experience, only I didn't get to graduate.

I'm trying to force myself to have a social life again though. I feel like I'm always tired. Between working full time, shooting gigs on the side, and having to drive to NJ every weekend to do my laundry and see my family.

On another note, it makes me so sad that my mom moved to NJ for a fresh start over a year and a half ago and still hasnt found a permanent full time position. Shes still stuck with my grandma. I feel so bad for her. I wish I could help her. At least the I'm not a financial burden on her anymore though. I even offered for her to come live with me if/when I purchase my home.

As for my love life in the past year... its still boring. I came close to a "relationship" but ended it extremely fast.

"There are things I said I would never do
There are fears I can not believe have come true
For my soul is too sick and it's too little and too late
And myself I have grown to weary to hate

The more I stay in here
The more it's not so clear
The more I stay in here
The more I disappear

As far as I have gone
I knew what side I'm on
But now I'm not so sure
The line begins to blur..."

bring it back?

2007-04-11T02:39:23Z

I am considering bringing this LJ back from the dead. Even though it majorly depresses me. I went through and read old entries and I was so happy in school and living in Center City. Ack.

...

2006-03-09T01:54:05Z

Kelly came up from Va Beach to visit me for a few days which was a lot of fun. I didnt want her to leave. She didnt get to meet many of my friends which sucks but she got to experience Philly a little bit. We also went out to West Chester, because Mark Hanna's band "backwoods payback" asked me to take photos for them.

____________________________________________

Some photos I took of Kelly for school

This one is a little blown out, but its for my lyric project, and its for the lyric "love is suicide"

another one I took for the lyric project, this one is for the lyric "she hides the scars shes making underneath her pretty clothes"

New Photos on Deviantart

2006-02-25T15:01:54Z

New Photos

http://againstalloddss.deviantart.com/gallery/

more to come very very soon (like probably this weekend)

The Metro

2006-02-25T01:30:54Z

Meg and Cass were in the Metro on Tuesday. Haha.

Meg and Cass were in the Metro Tuesday.

Random

2006-02-23T06:20:41Z

I think I'm going to take a baseball bat to my dvd player. It randomly decides not to have sound. It fucking pisses me off. I watched The Hills Have Eyes on the Playstation2 (because Garrett suggested it), but it wont let me play my other movie "Pecker". I guess I will have to force Steve to come over tomorrow and fix the shit. I'm electronically challenged. He already owes me his life anyway.

PS. Netflix is awesome (assuming you have a dvd player that isnt a cock). The next dvd coming is Carmen Electras Striptease video. Why? Imagine this: Me, Cass and Meg in the living room "working out" to it. Yeah, its gonna be funny. I'm sure Shawn will get a kick out of it too.

---------------------------------------

I've been trying to get my shit together. I spent a day budgeting my loan refunds (that I live off of), trying to get my credit cleared up (thats a damn process), trying to get everything required to get my PA drivers liscence and register my car (yeah, I still havent done that). Blah Blah Blah.

My hardest class (Lighting) is actually going really well. My teacher said I'm "pushing an A". Hes a very hard person to please... infact hes a very hard person to even talk to. Apparently he likes me a lot. I cant figure out why, but I am pleased. I have Bs in the rest of my classes so far.

This quarter ends March 24th. So I'll be back in Va Beach at the end of the month. Kelly will be here next weekend (with David and Ryan). I am beyond excited.

Party Pictures part 2

2006-02-23T06:05:28Z

Party Pictures Part 2

drinking games (Ryan, Cass, Meg)

Is it hot in here? (me)

(Luis, Miranda, and his cousins)

Meg and I

Megs NJ friends

Tyler

AI kids

The other Christina, Cait and me

Shawn made me an awesome Bday Cheesecake

Christina and (... I cant remember his name)

Cass and I

Mike

Cass and Meg

Laura and Mike

Look at my cute balloons.

Garrett gave Meg a lapdance to cheer her up.

He look like a clown with that pink fro

my birthday party photos

2006-02-20T16:53:32Z

So I'm gettin old... but I had a great birthday. Garrett came down from Connecticut and my two of my friends friends from back home (Laura and Mike) spontaneously decided to drive up. It was a good weekend full of drinking, dancing, showing them the sites, walking, eating new foods and playing games. All and all I had a ton of fun.

Also, Meg got me the Andy Warhol- Marilyn Monroe print for my wall and a gift card to Beyond the Wall (a poster shop). Cass got me a purple beaded necklace. My mom got me Garretts train ticket and money to have the party. Laura and Mike gave me a light up necklace (a joke) and just them coming up here was an awesome gift in itself.

Pictures from the party

Anthony and Mandy

Cait, Me, Maria

Cass and Ryan

cass

Christina

dancing

Garrett in his classic pose

Justin, Maria, Tyler

Kristin and Cass

Laura and I

Laura and Mike

Maria and I

Me being dumb

me and cass

Me and ryan... why am I so red!!! He must make me nervous haha

Laura and Mike

Nate and Maria

Shawn

Tiff and Quinn

anthony and I

Tyler and Nate

Is it Spring yet?

2006-02-10T19:19:43Z

Its suposed to snow 6-10 inches this weekend. Someone shoot me. Please.

Speaking of shooting. To make matters even worse, I had to do a lot of shooting this weekend. PLUS. I signed up to use the studio Monday from 6-10pm. Fuck.

Well, I'm going to Jersey now before it starts to snow.

Phew.

2006-02-08T01:25:58Z

I was super stressed about wether or not my teacher would like my photos. Hes kind of a loose cannon.

He loved them. He went on and on about them. I was the only person that he called out to say that too also.

I ran an idea about a photo by him and he totally loved it. I'm very excited.

Certain people still suck. I love garrett even more for his reaction to it when I vented to him last night. No wonder hes my "BFF".

I miss Kelly. We should try to call each other more. I know I'm half to blame for that too, and we're both busy... but I love and miss her. Shes the only one I really give a shit about down there.

I like to bold things... and I like randomness.

Karaoke time now.

true story

2006-02-07T13:02:57Z

I was so mad last night that I actually had to fight back tears.

I hate people.

recap

2006-02-05T11:43:48Z

Life (as of lately) in summary...

Went to Connecticut where Garrett and I managed to find things to do besides drive around aimlessly. We saw Broke back Mountain which was quite good. I cried. He works the night shift at a grocery store, so we decided it be fun for me to stay the night there with him while he works. It was an interesting night, I discovered that his job is extremely boring, but at least he had my entertainment for a night... The next day we slept a lot, and went to the cKy concert in Hartford, which was good and bad for different reasons. The next day I left.

I got back to Philly at 11am, went to class at 12:30pm and Karaoke at 9pm. I'm a fucking champ.

I slept a lot the next day.

Finally got out of bed to go to Tiff's little gather at her house.

Slept a lot the next two days.

Today, Tiff and I went to State College, PA (where Penn State is, if you didnt pick up on that) to see cKy play a small bar concert. It was a 3 and 1/2 hour drive in pouring down rain. They played a 2 hour set, which made me happy. Then another 3 and 1/2 hours home. Got home at 4:30 am... and its now 6:40am and I'm still awake. Fuck.

Overview: I am happy.

Pictures from Jami's Party

2006-01-23T02:55:18Z

Justin and Kevin

Jami and Maria

Me

Jami and Caitlyn

Tiff and her little Brother (she must be the coolest babysitter ever)

Maria and Quinn

Tom

Kevins cupcake dare

2 cupcakes in

He did it without swallowing

Maria and her bib (another dare)

Christina

Nate DJing

Sarah and Kevin

Jamie and Maria

Leona and Justin

Christina and Morgan

Maria, Jami and some girl playing air guitar to "might as well face it your addicted to love!!!!!"

Pics from Kips party

2006-01-21T19:49:15Z

Tiff

Meg

Erica and I

Quinn and Tiff

Meg, Cass and Candy

Tiff and I

Shawn

Meg and Cass

Candy

Justin

Random

Me

2006 has been freaking crazy so far

2006-01-18T21:59:51Z

Last night Meg, Tiff and I went to Karoke to support Kevin and have fun. Steve and his roomate Jason came too. It was a pretty crazy night. I looked cute as hell (and I NEVER think that) and I didnt get any pics of myself. I dont even remember taking half of these pictures. I spent WAY to much money and got pretty drunk. Meg was beyond drunk so Steve walked us home and he helped me take care of her. It was an awesome night and more fun times to come. Saturday is Jamies party out in Berwyn and it sounds like everyones going to be there. I'm sure I'll have lots of photos again.

Jason and Steve

Meg and Kevin

Steve and Meg

Tiff and Meg

Meg and Steve

Kevin

Kevin Steve Meg Tiff Jason

Meg Tiff Steve Jason

Meg Tiff Jason

parties

2006-01-16T14:17:31Z

Saturday night I went to a keg party at Tiffs with Meg and Cassidy (our new roomie). It was a lot of fun. They had a DJ and three kegs (which were empty long before the party was over). It turned into a huge dance party (and eventually a mosh pit during Nirvana). All the kids from school were there. I took some photos, but not as many as I wouldve liked... I was to distracted. Cass and I stayed till 4am, Meg stayed longer to talk to a guy...

Jamie's party is Saturday out in Berwyn. It should be a lot of fun. Marias boyfriend is DJing and everyone from school will be there. Luckily for me, Leona is driving.

Yesterday I went over to Leona's and hung out with her and Cait all night. It felt like it was a ridiculous 2 degrees outside or something. So it was really nice that Leona drove me home. Its kinda crazy that when our lease is up here (in August) that I have so many offers for places to live. Shawn wants me to stay. Meg and Cass want me to move in with them. Leona would like me to live with her. Its pretty crazy but hey, I feel loved.

The RSVPs for my Birthday Party seem promising... and I only posted it on myspace Saturday night. Hurray.Click Here

Well I have to run. I have to meet Maria to take some photos of her today...

Meg, Cass & Zack

Erica

Caitlyn

Meg and Cass

Quinn

Meg and I

Tiff

Erica

Cait and Tom

Meg and Justin

Cassidy

Random Passed Out Guy

...

2006-01-13T00:59:49Z

I just finished watching Prozac Nation. I highly recommend this movie! I never finished reading the book unfortunately, so I cant say wether its better than the book or not... but it really touched me. I cried so much throughout the movie, and I havent cried in a long time.

Anyway, today was a long ass day. I had class from 8-4:30. I am so overwhelmed with the amount of shooting I have to do. I wish I had willing models at my finger tips. I have ideas, and I could photograph my friends, but they are just as busy as I am, so its a huge scheduling conflict. I have over 200 photos due in the next two weeks, and they have to be "portfolio quality". I might have already posted about that, but I am just so overwhelmed. Every time I tell someone that I am overwhelmed they just say "you can do it". I know I can, but it doesnt help the fact that I am stressed beyond belief. I've been trying to stay positive, but now I just dont know. I am exhausted and overwhelmed. Have I used that word enough?

I have to go read about lighting now...

happiness

2006-01-10T23:07:08Z

Today has been an awesomely terrific day.

I went to class at 12:30 (Principles of Lighting) and much to my surprise, my best bud in Philly Steve is in my class. The first 30 minutes of class were pretty scary. My teacher wanted to see where we all were technically with photography, and he started drilling the class with questions. Since I suck at the technical part of photography, my heart was like beating out of my chest. It was intense. I did volunteer an answer (mainly because I didnt want to be called on randomly with a question I didnt know). I was a little off with my answer but I had the jist of it, so that was great. After that he talked for another FOUR hours, but it turns out I really like him. Hes tough, but hes a great teacher and I look forward to working with him.

After I got home, I realized I had a bunch of missed calls, one of which was from Kevin. So I called him back and he invited me to this karoke bar tonight where he will be singing. The whole "gang" from school will be there, so I called Meg and invited her. She might come. Then I called Maria to see if I can stop by her place first, and we can go together (I hate going to places like that alone, but really want to go). She was so happy I called, and we're going to meet at her place. I'm just happy because I never ever get to hang with all of them together, and its going to be a ton of fun.

So... I'm a happy girl.

update to the last update.

2006-01-10T03:08:00Z

... just as a follow up post to my last entry ...

Shawn and I went to Target to get some cute fucking bar stools for the kitchen. Yesssssss.

Then he, Meg and I went to a little sushi place on 10th and Locust. I'd never had sushi. I didnt care for the raw sushi. I loved the Shrimp Tambora and Veggie Tambora. I also loved their salad with ginger dressing and Miso Soup. Their green tea tastes like popcorn. Yum. Shawn and I were disappointed they did have Saki. We both wanted to try it. (If I missed spelled anything... oh well)

Afterwards, we headed over to wholefoods for some Soy icecream and played the Disney version of Scene it, which was a lot of fun.

I got my ProActive today. Hope its worth the money.

I have Principles of Lighting tomorrow at 12:30, and I have to stop by my academic advisor to get the information to study abroad this summer. Yessssssss.

againstalloddss @ 2006-01-09T14:41:00

2006-01-09T19:48:03Z

Class went well today. I am already overwhelmed with the amount of work, and its only the first day, and only my first class. It'll be ok though. I am trying to stay positive.

This television show, "Flavor of love", is the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen in my life.

Anyway, for my birthday, I told my mom that all I want is for Kelly and Garrett to come to Philly. So it looks like that is happening. Garrett will be here for the weekend of my birthday, but Kelly wont be here until the weekend after my birthday. So I have two awesome weekends to look forward to. Nothing is written in stone, but it looks like its going to work out.

I have to go meet Shawn later for Sushi. I am going to try it. I dont know if I'll like it.

Stolen......

2006-01-09T00:34:35Z

In 2005 I...

{ } broke a promise
{x} made a new friend
{x} done something you swore never to do
{x} lied
{ } stole
{n/a} went behind your parents back
{ } cried over a broken heart
{ } dissapointed someone close
{ } hid a secret
{x} pretended to be happy
{ } got arrested
{ } kissed in the rain
{ } slept under the stars
{ } kept your new years resolution
{ } forgot your new years resolution
{x} didn't have a new years resolution
{ } met someone who changed your life
{x} met one of your idols
{x} changed your outlook on life
{x} sat home all day doing nothing
{ } pretended to be sick
{ } left the country
{ } almost died
{ } gave up on someone important to you
{x} lost something expensive
{x} learned something new about yourself
{x} tried something you normally wouldnt try and liked it
{x} made a change in your life
{x} found out who your true friends were
{x} made a total fool of yourself
{x} met great people

2005 Your Love Life.

Single/Taken? Single
How many break ups? zip

2005 Bitches And Bros.

Did you meet any new friends this year? yes
Did any of your friendships end? yes
Did you dislike anyone? yes, i dislike most people
Did you get into any fights? no
Did you make any new enemies? no
Did you resolve any fights? no

2005....The Holidays!

Did you have a Valentine? no
the Easter bunny visit you? no
Did watch fireworks on the 4th of July? no
Did you dress up for Halloween? no, i went to a concert
What did you do for Thanksgiving? stayed in NJ with the fam
Did you make a list of gifts for the holidays? haha yeah
Did you receive what you wanted? yes

2005 Your BIRTHDAY!!!

How old did you turn? 22
What did you do for your birthday? went to the cheesecake factory with some friends and my mom... then went to jillians to do some drinking :-)
Did you have a party? no
Did you get any presents? yes

2005......The Memories and Accomplishments!

Funniest Memory? the first one that comes to mind, is "holiday decorating night" with my and my roomies. Shawn, Meg and I laughed so hard that I almost peed myself. I dont even remember why.
Saddest Memory? Leaving Virginia, but it was sad and great at the same time.
Best Accomplishment? Moving to Philly, and lasting 9 months (and counting) in art school.
Favorite TV shows? Laguna Beach, The OC, Desperate Housewives, The Simpsons.
Favorite food? shrimp
Favorite stores? The antique, vintage, cd, poster etc stores on South Street.
Favorite restaurants? I'll have to go with Marathon Grill. Its no my favorite, but I've gone there a million times.
Favorite piece of clothing? My "Virginia is for losers" shirt. Hahaha j/k I dont even wear it. I dunno.

update for the sake of updating

2006-01-08T17:51:02Z

I went back to Jersey for the weekend to see my mom before school starts and my schedule gets to hectic to go out there. She took me clothes shopping, which was fantastic. I got lots of cute clothes and 3 pairs of shoes (they were extremely cheap). Yay for me.

Since starting this new "diet", I've lost 9 pounds. Which is always nice. I've been eating mostly organic foods. Wheat bread, crackers, rice (instead of white). No red meat, only poultry or fish. Lots of veggies and fruits. No soda (but if I cave and buy one, I stick to diet soda). And the only real sugar I intake is in my coffee. I'm actually doing well on it, and enjoying it. Eating healthy is expensive though.

School starts tomorrow. I have Advanced Principles of Photography at 8am with my least favorite photo teacher. Booooooo.

I'm insane.

2006-01-05T22:29:22Z

Today, I woke up and drove to Jersey to hang with my grandma and my animals for a few hours, and pick up a package I had waiting there. I drive back to Philly, park my car and get out... As I'm walking away from my car, three black guys start walking towards me. I can hear they are talking about me, but I cant hear what they say until they are actually passing me. I hear one say "oh yeah shes free, shes free" as they look at my left hand (looking for a wedding ring, I assume). I shrug it off, it happens sometimes... but as I am turning the corner I see one of them peering into my car window with his hand covering the top of his eyes (sheilding the sun). DONT ASK ME WHAT WAS RUNNING THROUGH MY MIND BECAUSE I HAVE NO CLUE but I walk back and ask him "why were you looking in my car." The guy is kind of stand off-ish and says "I was looking at my reflection". His friend over hears us talking and he comes up to me and says something like "whats the problem?" and I say "I wanted to know why he was looking in my car window". He tells me "No one wants your shit man, he was looking at his reflection... I got a job, I got two jobs, I got money!" I said "Ok thats fine, I just wanted to know what was going on." He proceeds to tell me again "we dont want your shit, we're just out here lookin for bitches. If you felt unsafe, you should have picked up your cell phone and called 911." He then pulls his cell phone out and opens it, and tries to hand it to me and says "call 911." I say "I could have done that, but I chose to come over here and just ask what he was doing. What would you think if you were me, honestly?" He says "I wouldve just walked away and called 911 if I needed to." I told him I didnt think I needed to, and walked away. I looked back a few times and watched them... but I walked home.

I got home and couldnt help but think "what the fuck was I thinking? I shouldnt have said anything." My roomate said she probably wouldve done the same thing... but my mom, grandma, and garrett all say they wouldnt have done it, and that I shouldnt have (for safety reasons).

I decided that theres no way my car will be safe there, I know that corner is a hang out spot, so I decide to give it a little while and walk back and move my car. I called Garrett and talked to him while I was doing it, just incase they were still there, I wouldnt FEEL so alone... Sure enough, he was there. He follows me like half a block towards my car and is talking to me. He was nice about it, but it made me feel extremely unsafe. He says "See, your cars fine. We didnt touch your shit. No one wants to mess with your car." I say "Thank you". He continues to follow me as I'm unlocking my door and says "Not all black people are bad". I told him "that wasnt even what I was saying". He tells me "Not even all crack heads are bad". I kind of smiled. Closed my door. Drove off and parked my car a few blocks over and a few blocks back.

Thank you Garrett for talking to me. It helped.

I cant believe I did that. I am like the most passive aggressive person ever. Crazy random people haller obscenities at me and I dont do anything. Crazy people will straight up call me terrible names and I dont do anything. (I like in a city with a bunch of fucking crazy people. A lot of them actually talk to themselves... and I mean A LOT) Why did I decide to say something then? I'm not saying what I did was wrong. It was pretty ballsy, but jesus it wasnt exactly safe either.

....

2006-01-01T05:11:41Z

Happy New Year and stuff.... ♥

cKy in Atlantic City

2006-01-01T00:21:57Z

Last night I attended the cKy concert in Atlantic City at the House of Blues. I got there like 2 minutes before the doors opened and somehow managed to get a spot on the railing. I was the only person above the age of 15 in the area I was in.

The first opening band A.S.G was actually decent, the crowd seemed to enjoy them as well. There were a lot of mosh pits during their set. They actually did a decent cover of "Where Eagles Dare".

The second band, Puny Human was awful. A few people actually liked them, I was shocked. The lead singer loved to shake his hips on stage. I kept thinking it was going to pop out of place or something. The drummer looked like he was going to have a heart attack at any second. The made me think of 4 old drunk guys that like to play in their little jam band in their houses, where their teenage kids hide because they are mortified that their friends might hear. So yeah, I thought they sucked. Opinions are like assholes. View the hip shaking:

FYI: I did not take that photograph.

cKy of course was awesome. They were better than the last time I saw them. The crowd was actually really rough. I got knocked down twice and two girls got in a fight right next to me. I was seconds away from stepping in and defending the girl next to me, when it got physical and all of the guards pushed me to get through and break it up. Good thing I didnt say anything. Anyway, the band got trashed on stage and when it was time for the "encore" they just fucked around and talked and played each others instruments, and came down and stood on the railing to shake everyones hand, then back on the stage to play another song. Two security guards in front of me DID NOT enjoy their drunken randomness. They were pissed that they were still on stage, and kept saying "it was suposed to be over a half an hour ago. Right after one guard said that, Chad said "are you guys getting paid over time yet?" I thought that was hilarious.The security guard did not.

The setlist was as follows: (I found this online, I dont keep track of the setlists during shows)

Escape From Hellview
Human Drive in Hifi
Flesh Into Gear
Triple Maniac State
96 Quite Bitter Beings
Sink Into The Underground
Attached At The Hip
All Power To Slaves
Inhuman Creation Station
Dressed In Decay
Shippensburg
Fat Fuck
Plastic Plan (snippit)
Sara's Mask
Rio Bravo
Shock and Terror
My Promiscuous Daughter
Suddenly Tragic
Sporadic Movement
Disengage The Simulator
Close Yet Far
"encore"
Random fucking around
"encore"
Bite It You Scum (cover)

I was really happy to hear "Fat Fuck", Chad started singing it at the last show, but fucked up and threw the mic. I was also happy to hear their cover of "Bite it you scum", I saw a video of them playing it, but hadnt heard it live. Chad is one bad ass mofo... and I find Derons caveman look sexy. HAHA.